Out of my hands

I am nearing the end of a long list of job applications. I won’t say how many I have applied for – Sage is teaching me how to keep some things to myself. Before this all started I received a lot of different advice on what to apply for, what not to apply for, and where to focus my energy. One recently hired first time faculty advised that I do as he did: put all of my energy and time into applying for only a couple of jobs (he was offered the two positions he applied for). In the end I decided to cast my net wide: whether this was out of an on-going case of the imposter syndrome, or because of uncertainty about the kind of position I truly want, I am not sure. I should mention, that a piece of this decision is also based on the fact that there are quite a few exciting positions open this year. Now we are entering a nerve-racking period of waiting to hear back. I am truly thankful that Sage and I will be on the move, as of two weeks from yesterday, so that I will not be able to focus all of my energy on whether or not I am being contacted for interviews. For the first time in a long, long time the future seems truly out of my hands. I have to be confident and patient and hope that my applications not only get noticed, but that the people reading them see me as a good fit for the department and as someone they want to work with for years to come. I feel confident that I have sent off materials that reflect who I am, what I have accomplished, and what I have to offer – it is this that I will have to rely upon for the next weeks/months of anxious waiting.